remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
