Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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