Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
