ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
My ass is underappreciated
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
