i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
