I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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