I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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