The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
