Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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