he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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