i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
