I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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