you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
