Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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