Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
did i just pee glitter
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
