Christians are straight up FREAKS
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
