Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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