I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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