Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
