i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Two words: blizzard sex
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
