We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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