the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize