I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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