It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Randomize
