Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i love accidental penises.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
