Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize