i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
