erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
