I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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