Welp...herpes.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
