i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
