I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
