You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
