The best revenge is premature balding
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
