Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
