I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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