wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
