It's Friday. Sex?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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