Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize