It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
