dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
