Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
