covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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