love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
