Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize