Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
