help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'm both gender and math confused
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
