On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I think people are normalizing furries
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
