In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
