You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
