You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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