Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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