I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
