I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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