Small penises have feelings too.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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