At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
