i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
