Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
