Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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