Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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