I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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