mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
