this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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