You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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