he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
